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It Wasn’t Just Postpartum: How Learning About ADHD Changed the Way I See Myself as a Woman (And A Mom)
When I had my babies, postpartum depression hit me harder than I ever imagined. I’ve shared that full journey in a blog post before. It was a season that changed me forever.
And I did heal. The fog lifted. I found my laughter again, my energy, my drive. I was dreaming about my future and pouring into my business with excitement.
But even with PPD further behind me… something was still off.
Over time, I noticed patterns that weren’t fitting how I thought my healing was supposed to look. I struggled with follow through, consistency, and felt overwhelmed in ways that felt deeper than just motherhood stress or burnout. I often felt scattered, emotionally intense, and stuck in cycles of planning without execution. No matter how motivated I felt, I didn’t seem able to create the steadiness I longed for.
How I Started Wondering if It Was ADHD
This is not medical advice or a diagnostic guide. This is simply how I understood my own experience. Please read my full disclaimer here.
At first, I brushed it all off as “mom life.” Of course I was tired. Of course I was juggling too much. Of course I forgot things—what mom doesn’t?
But deep down, I knew there was more to it. That is when I started asking deeper questions about how my brain works.
What really got me questioning things was my business and my home. I loved it. I had so many ideas, so much passion, and incredible people cheering me on. But no matter what I tried, I couldn’t maintain momentum. I’d pour myself into creating a plan, feel so excited, and then… nothing. I’d lose steam, fall behind, and feel like I was starting over again and again.
It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t lack of motivation. It was like I was fighting invisible quicksand, and I couldn’t explain why.
Then, one day, after going through some family paperwork looking for my son’s birth certificate (that I had misplaced almost a year prior after applying for his passport before our trip to California.. yup, the signs were there 😅), I came across a file, about an inch and a half thick, full of reports, articles, and paperwork from almost ten years ago.
And I almost tossed it out.
I opened it up and began to read and browse through countless articles and papers I had printed off. Reports and files from previous visits to healthcare providers.
Turns out, almost ten years ago after my anxiety diagnosis, I knew something deeper was going on. I was going to therapy and trying to see a doctor who would listen to me. I was pursuing an ADHD diagnosis, even back then. Before marriage, before kids.
I’d had these symptoms for most (if not all) of my adult life… as soon as my highly structured childhood, specifically as a young girl living under high societal expectations, was over. Later, I learned many women share this same experience when they are diagnosed later in life.
In my hands was the paperwork and a referral for diagnosis.
But it was empty. Not a mark filled in.
I was possibly one appointment away from receiving a diagnosis…. and I stopped.
And I completely forgot about it. I didn’t give it a single thought for almost ten years. It felt like I was going through someone else’s file.
But, it was me.
And what I read, still rang so true. The symptoms. The frustration. The anguish. It was like looking into a mirror…. again.
Why This Resonated With Me As A Woman
I learned about patterns that many women later describe when they learn about ADHD. We become good students, hard workers, people-pleasers. We bury the chaos inside, blaming ourselves for every shortcoming.
And because of that, we’re often missed. Many of us are told we have anxiety, depression, or that we’re just “too sensitive.” Some of us get labeled as “scatterbrained” or “flaky,” and we spend years overcompensating, burning out, and never feeling good enough.
For moms, the stakes are even higher. We’re managing households, raising kids, running businesses, keeping track of a million tiny details… often on zero sleep and even less support. If you have ADHD and don’t know it, motherhood can feel like an endless cycle of guilt and overwhelm. More than the typical motherhood experience (because let’s be honest… motherhood is hard for everyone).
That was me. I thought I was failing because I couldn’t live up to what I thought I should be able to do.
Living Out of Alignment with My Brain
For years, I tried to live life the “right” way: planners, routines, productivity hacks, discipline. I thought if I just worked harder, tried harder, pushed harder, I’d finally feel on top of things.
But my brain wasn’t wired for that kind of constant rigidity. I could hyper-focus on what lit me up, but trying to force myself into a system that didn’t fit drained me. I’d get short bursts of success followed by long periods of burnout.
Every time I “fell short,” I told myself I was the problem. I wasn’t trying hard enough. I wasn’t disciplined enough. I wasn’t enough.
The truth? I wasn’t broken… I was just living out of alignment with how my brain actually worked.
Getting an ADHD diagnosis didn’t erase all my struggles, but it reframed them for me. It taught me that I can create systems that support my brain instead of punish it. It showed me that my intense passion, creativity, and big-picture thinking aren’t flaws—they’re strengths.
Most importantly, it gave me compassion for myself. I stopped seeing myself as “the mom and wife who can’t keep up” and started embracing that I’m the mom and wife who finds her own way… and that’s more than enough.
For the Mom Who’s Reading This and Wondering If It’s Her Too…
If you’ve done everything “right”—healed your body, worked on your mindset, fought your way out of hard times—and you still feel like something is missing, I want you to know this:
It’s not because you’re lazy. It’s not because you’re failing. And it’s certainly not because you don’t love your family enough to “try harder.”
Sometimes, there’s more to the story.
For you, it might not be ADHD. But for me, it was.
Getting my ADHD diagnosis didn’t erase the struggles, but it gave me understanding, hope, and a path forward. If you see yourself in any part of my story, I hope it encourages gentleness and curiosity that you might need in this season. You deserve to feel whole. You deserve to glow.
