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A guest post by Sarah Smith (Dwell & Delight on Substack)
Hey sweet friend, over the past year of sharing more of my story about burnout, there are two questions I get asked more than anything else:
How do I know if I’m actually burned out?
How do you get out of it?
If you’ve found yourself wondering the same thing, I want you to know you are not alone.
Before we go any further, I want to say this clearly. I am not a doctor, therapist, or clinician. I am just a mom sharing my lived experience. What burnout looked like in my own life, how God met me there, and what I have learned along the way.
In this post…
Everyone’s story is different. Some seasons are heavier than others. Some carry things I will never fully understand. But most of us are simply trying to show up the best we can with the capacity we have right now.
If that’s where you are, you are in the right place.
I Was Struggling, But I Didn’t Understand Why
For a long time, I knew something felt off.
I was exhausted in a way sleep didn’t fix.
I was overwhelmed by things that used to feel manageable.
Life felt heavy and honestly a little unsustainable.
But I didn’t have language for it.
Burnout, to me, was just something people said when they were tired or stressed. I didn’t realize it could be something deeper. Something ongoing. Something that touches your body, your mind, and your spirit all at once.
So instead of recognizing what was happening, I internalized it.
I told myself this was a test from God.
That I just needed to try harder.
That I needed more discipline.
I kept pushing. I kept striving. I kept asking God to help me endure instead of asking what needed to change.
And looking back, I can see how gentle He was with me in that season, even when I wasn’t gentle with myself.
What I thought was weakness was actually my body and mind asking for care.
The Way Burnout Met My Faith
I have always believed in God, but my relationship with Him deepened in my early twenties after a season of searching for fulfillment in all the wrong places.
From the outside, my life started to look put together. I was doing the right things. Growing in my faith. Building a family.
But internally, I was still holding everything tightly.
I relied on my own discipline, my own effort, my ability to keep things together. I thought if I could just stay productive and in control, everything would be okay.
Burnout exposed that in me.
It showed me how much I trusted myself instead of God. How much I relied on productivity to feel safe. How often I asked Him to help me push through instead of asking Him what He was inviting me to release.
That season felt hard. Refining in ways I didn’t expect.
But it was also tender.
When I was in burnout, I truly did not know how I was going to make it. And yet, looking back, I can see how gently God carried me through.
The more I parented my children, the more I realized how much I needed to be parented too.
I was growing right alongside them.
What Burnout Actually Looked Like for Me
Burnout didn’t show up all at once. It was layered and messy and often confused with other things like anxiety, postpartum changes, ADHD, and just the weight of everyday life.
But there were patterns I can see clearly now:
1. Nervous system overload
I was constantly overstimulated. Noise felt like too much. Light felt like too much. My mind would not slow down, even when my body was completely exhausted.
2. Decision fatigue
Simple things felt hard. I would overthink, forget things, or feel stuck trying to make even small decisions.
3. Emotional depletion
I cared deeply about people, but that empathy drained me quickly. I felt everything, all the time.
4. Productivity swings
I would have bursts where I felt motivated and capable, followed by long stretches where I felt completely shut down.
5. Coping and comfort-seeking
I found myself reaching for things to soothe the overwhelm, like shopping, avoidance, or leaning too heavily on others for stability.
For a long time, I thought this meant something was wrong with me.
But burnout is not a moral failure.
It is not a lack of faith.
It is often a sign that you have been carrying too much for too long without enough support.
A Gentle Check-In If This Resonates
If you are wondering whether burnout might be part of your story, I want to invite you to gently sit with a few questions:
Does rest actually restore me?
Am I present in my days, or just getting through them?
Does doing more feel heavy or almost impossible?
Do I still feel joy in the things I used to love?
You don’t need to fix anything right now.
Just notice.
If something stirs as you read this, that matters.
Rebuilding After Burnout, One Small Step at a Time
I did not rebuild my life on my own.
The rhythms, discipline, and healing that came after burnout were not something I forced into place. They were the result of God patiently, lovingly guiding me back to a steadier way of living.
Once I started creating even a little bit of space in my life, I found myself asking, what do I do with this space?
That is where these rhythms came in.
The Soft Seven Rhythms
These are not rules for a perfect routine but simply small, steady ways to come back to yourself and to God throughout your day.
1. Scripture
Even one verse can anchor your heart before the noise of the day.
2. Stillness
A quiet moment in the car, a breath at the sink, a whispered prayer.
3. Sustenance
Feeding your body in a way that supports you.
4. Steps
Gentle movement. A walk, stretching, dancing in the kitchen with your kids.
5. Service
Something small for someone else. A text, a prayer, an extra bedtime story.
6. Story
Creating, reading, listening. Letting yourself connect to something outside of your own thoughts.
7. Surrender
Handing over what you cannot carry. The unfinished tasks, the worries, the things you do not have answers for.
A Softer Way Forward After Burnout
These rhythms gave my life structure without making me feel suffocated.
They helped me rebuild slowly, through small choices that reminded me who I am and Whose I am.
Some days, you might find yourself naturally moving through several of these rhythms. Other days, just one is enough.
If you are in a rebuilding season, start there. Just one.
Let it meet you in your real life. In the middle of errands, nap times, work, and all the in-between moments.
Over time, those small choices begin to stitch something beautiful back together.
You Are Allowed to Need Support After Burnout
One of the quiet lies burnout can whisper is that you should be able to handle everything on your own.
But needing support is not weakness, sweet friend, it is wisdom that we are not enough on our own strength.
Whether that support comes from God, from your community, or from professional care (or ideally a combination!), you are not meant to carry everything by yourself.
And if today all you can do is name that something feels off, that is enough.
You are not alone in this.
Much love,
Sarah
